Q: Why are paleontologists so aroused during field camp?
A: After digging for bones all day, you just wanna bury one.

Q: What's the difference between a wife having one black eye and two black eyes?
A: A cop having a good or bad day on the job.

A lawyer woke up in the hospital after surgery. He asked: "Why are all the blinds drawn in here?" The nurse replied: "There's a huge fire across the street and we didn't want you to think the operation had been a failure."

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Satan says to a lawyer: "Here's the deal: You get unlimited wealth and prestige, I get your soul, your wife's soul, your kids' souls, and your five closest friends' souls."

The lawyer thinks a minute and says: "What's the catch?"

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The problem with lawyers is that 99% of them give the rest a bad name.

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Q: What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?
A: Taller.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ below 70?
A: A politician.

Q: Why are lawyers buried 12 feet under when they die?
A: Because deep down they are good people.

Q: Why don't sharks bite lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.